Hi NAncy,You are right. A leopard doesn't change his spots. Tommy wasn't an ambitious young man and guess what, He's no more ambitious now. The key is that you recognized what was important to you. Some people prefer a simpler less ambitious life and others don't. it does not mean one is right or better than the other. simply different. That's is why being clear on your essential needs is so important. if you want ambition and you get involved w/a guy who isn't it is not going to lead into happily ever after .As far as your new guy. Does he seem to have ALL of Your Essential Needs ? If not u might want to say goodbye and wish him well in his homeland. If he does, is there a possibility that you could work together to come up with a solution. I am opposed to getting married for any other reason than the person having ALL of Your essential needs and giving you what you need for you to have the happy and fulfilling relationship you desire..and deserve.I believe that two individuals who love each other and meet each others needs can solve any problem or challenge that life throws at them. Before u even consider marrying U might want to ask yourself if he has all of your needs. Obviously there is a lot of others factors that weigh into u'r decision but please make sure that whatever decision you make you do so out of POWER because it is best for you and your future. Sometimes people come into our lives for reasons that are hard to comprehend until we are further down the road on our journey. I would advise you to think with your head and not just your heart on this. Keep me posted!Much Love,joe